Hey Lou! So this particular testimony started almost 4 years ago. But firstly, God has built my heart to love North Dakota since I was 12; that’s also when I was going through depression, self-harm, and in my freshman year, 3 suicide attempts. In the 3 years, I struggled, I had the same youth leader and she was the only adult who knew about my struggles. She covered me in prayer all those years and because of her obedience and God’s claim on my heart, I did not succeed in my attempts. The last half of high school was spent learning how Papa sees and loves me. I knew I wanted to be a servant like her. Who knows how her heart groaned for me and how glad it made Papa’s heart that she loved like that. I knew I wanted that level of intimacy with God, that I could pray and love and support the hearts of broken kids. How could I not after witnessing the power of her warfare for me?
Harvey is plagued with the strongmen of religion and suicide that specifically targets the youth. It has been that way since the earliest summer I can remember. Well, after I graduated high school, I wanted to take a year off to make a decision for college. Before I left Florida, I went to a conference put on by The International House of Prayer. During a time of intercession, God immediately told me to intercede for Harvey, ND. He said, “I will come like a deluge. Because they are my children and I love them.” I knew then that I would be there for longer than a year. Fast forward a year after moving and working at the local hospital as a CNA, it became clear to me that Papa was keeping me from seeing death and even being around it. My friends told me to ask God, so I did, and I was led to Numbers 6. The Nazirite vow was not something I remembered learning about or even paying attention to, but my eye was immediately caught by them not being allowed to be around death. Well, I took all of it literally, which wasn’t hard, until a few months later when I found my first dead patient. Then I had to chop my hair anyway because of scalp psoriasis. After that, I never heard anything else about it from God. And I had absolutely forgotten about it until I saw the chapter named Nazirite DNA.
Lou, let. Me. Tell. You.
I was absolutely shook.
Completely wrecked and exhilarated like the best Christmas morning surprise puppy times 10.
I read and reread that chapter and was so moved and encouraged. It literally opened up a new realization of my identity in Christ. This fast of mine was not perfect like I wanted it to be, I failed more than once. But your encouragements helped me seek God further when I did fail. I hope I can maintain this spirit of fasting even though it is challenging. But I welcome the challenges because I know my security doesn’t come from myself. I’m ready to embrace my Nazirite calling.